A very intense experience may create an emotional meaning, which may affect us positively or negatively later in life...When I was in college, I was playing it smart and focusing almost entirely on school work for the first two years, but then, all of a sudden something clicked, and my interest in men emerged like a tornado. I didn't even have a boyfriend then, so I asked a friend to do me the "favour", which he did very happily. Unfortunately, things didn't go too well with him... we were friends, we had bargained for more that we could handle, and at the end we ended up losing the friendship without ever becoming a couple. So, lesson one learned there.
Then, the soccer player made an appearance... my very first relationship. He was a couple of years older than me, and a very popular guy in college. He was fun to be with, and I mean for everyone... he was witty, and handsome, and I can't remember what else. We were all the time together, and he was quite fond of me as a person, and more specifically of my body; but we both lived with our respective parents, so our chances of being intimate were rare.
However, we did managed to go out together every now and then... we went to college parties often, and generally, it was me who danced with other guys mostly because he wasn't very much into that. One evening, he picked me up to go to one of those parties; the ambience was very animated when we got there, and for us it went the usual way... we greeted everyone, we went together to mingle with his friends, then I would leave sporadically to talk to my friends. In between, I would also dance but with somebody else.
When I was dancing with whoever, I could notice my guy peeking on me persistently. I would go and talk to him to check if everything was alright, and he just smiled and assured me that everything was okay. So, I would just keep entertaining myself while he was fooling around with his friends. Then, the party became really loud... everyone was having fun, I was dancing, and he appeared from behind and held my waist gently and asked me to come with him. I sort of gave a good bye smile to the guy I was dancing with, took my boyfriend's hand and followed without asking.
He took me out of the party, and told me to get in the car, which I did. I felt completely safe with him, we had strong feelings for each other, and we had already been intimate. So, he drives around the neighbourhood, and I'm just there smiling, knowing all too well the reason why he took me out of the party. He finally decides to park under a tree on a quiet street. I'm sure he thought the shade was not going to betray our presence from the street lights. So, he starts kissing me, and I kissed him back, and I could feel the sexual tension rising (literally I guess) with every second that passed. Then, he stopped, and asked me to go to the back of the car. I was such a lamb back then, and I just did as told.
I was wearing heels and a nice skirt, so that sort of simplified things. So, I sat on the back seat and looked at him with a smile while he was getting in the car while shutting the door behind him. I just lied on my back on the seat with my legs slightly spread. He wasn't smiling alright, but he was undoing his belt trying to get his pants down. He then reached under my skirt, and noticed my panties, and just took them off and threw them away somewhere in the car. He was definitely enjoying it to the point of becoming completely unaware of the surroundings. I was also enjoying it, but as it's so often the case with younger women, I was enjoying the intimacy much more so than the sex. I could see the windows starting to get foggy with the heavy breathing, and I remember thinking that that could give us away, but then he started kissing me again, and I got lost in the moment once more.
We must've been into it for about 10 minutes, the windows were so damp, and the air was rare... then someone opened the door and I saw my boyfriend pulling away from me. Outside, I saw four armed men with guns and machine guns surrounding my guy, and I'm there sitting in the back of the car pretty much with my legs wide open. I pull down my skirt and looked for my panties... I saw them on the floor, but I didn't dare to move. One of the men asked me to get out of the car, I did and I stood right beside of my boyfriend. We were both scared to death, and for a moment, I thought they were going to kill my boyfriend and rape me, but we both managed to stay calm. Then one of the men asked for the car keys, my boyfriend gave them to him without saying a word, then the four men with their guns got inside the car and drove away with my panties.
It was quite a bonding experience I must say. I'm sure we must've turned the trauma into something more pleasurable because after that, something else clicked inside me and I started to enjoy sex with him like never before. There was something else that joined us and made us one somehow, we even managed to synchronize sensations without even talking to each other, and most of the time we ended simultaneously. I don't know what it was really... maybe it was fear, the circumstances of the incident, the fact that we actually cared for each other, or perhaps a combination of everything. Frankly, I don't remember the fear anymore, I just remember him and all the pleasure we had together plus all the inexplicable meaning of that unbridled emotion.
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