That cup of coffee

"Let's have a coffee or something..." is such a simple invitation, yet it may imply so much, and when this happens, the stress is on that something, whatever it is, and not so much on the cup of coffee.

So, I'm finished with work and I go back home feeling a little tired... I have a cold plus the cutting wind, the chilly weather, and the heavy snow make a good combination for feeling somewhat miserable; my only wish right now is to go straight to bed. I don't waste time and go home, and as soon as I get there, I get into comfy clothes, I fix myself something warm to eat, watch TV a little while, and fall asleep like a baby right on the couch. I wake up really late in the morning... sure why not, it's Saturday, and a true day to sleep in and feel warm under the covers.

I finally decide to get up, and I make myself some coffee while I sit in front of the computer to check my mail. I'm sipping from my cup, and I'm enjoying my coffee, it tastes so good... Then, I see a familiar name popping up on Messenger. I think I need to explain here... I met this guy almost a year ago, and at the time, it just felt right to spend sometime together. We both were looking for the same thing, didn't want to embark in anything complicated, so one thing led to another fairly quickly. He and I were strikingly different in almost every sense, but we had a weird connection that is somewhat difficult to explain... we shared a difficult past experience, nothing traumatizing, but significant. Then, it was extremely peculiar that we both had a similar physical mark, and that only increased the strange attraction we felt for each other.

We ended up having a short-lived, but very intense affair, and there were moments I swear I could see fireworks over my heaad when I spent time with this guy. Still, we never told each other how we felt, mostly because the whole thing was supposed to be casual anyway... he was moving to Toronto soon, so it was better just to enjoy the moment. He did move out of Montreal eventually, the affair ended, and things went cold for a while; but there we were... chatting.

At the end of the year, I usually spend a few days in Toronto with some friends that I've known for years; so he said that maybe we could go out for a coffee or something... with a stress on the something of course. It's ironic how sometimes things go unspoken, but you know they're there drumming so loud. My only thought was that if I went to Toronto, it would be a little embarrassing to disappear for a couple of days while staying at my friends'.

My plans got derailed with a stupid cold that kept me in bed for at least four days. Then the snow came, or actually more of it, while I was at my worst. My car was parked in the backyard, and now I had to shovel some 25 meters of snow before I could even attempt to drive the car... first out of the backyard, through the back alley and on to the street. It seems like my car is going to stayed parked there burried under the snow until the spring.

So, the Toronto guy pops up again on Messenger, and I explain to him that there's no way I can leave Montreal. He's somewhat dissapointed, or so I think... the truth is that I couldn't tell for sure. This is one of those male things that I've never been able to figure out. I could only sense it because I've seen the patterns of when he's annoyed, bored, interested, whatever. At the end, I don't think it matters much, the fact is that we won't be able to share that cup of coffee.